LAP(SE) is an essay film comprised of layers and hybrid cartographies: I aim to question, although abstractly, the masculinisation of gender, especially in the context of being an immigrant in europe.
I demand accountability by european states and I demand accountability by whiteness, by my own people, by model minorities. I try to embody the feelings of dysphoria that are imposed upon us as racialised people, and how being trans is both an escape and something you can’t touch, something i don’t want to talk about. I body-build in order to not be, I body-build the same way I use the internet, the same way the internet is an infinite murky duplication. The film traces histories within West Asia, through histories of colonisation via the Ottoman, Russian and Persian Empires, arriving in the Soviet Union and across to the present Post Soviet and Post Colonial stance. Many of the ideas expressed in the film I brewed up during moments of transition while we were living in Berlin, experiencing very liberal european ‘tolerant’ types of racisms and transphobias.